Sweeney Zuko
by Jet556
Summary: When Zuko returns home after fifteen years of imrpisonment he finds his wife "dead" and his daughter adopted by his enemy, he swears revenge no matter the cost!
1. Cast

I'm doing a parody of Sweeney Todd so here is the cast.

Sweeney Todd- Zuko (Avatar)

Mrs. Lovett-Raven (Teen Titans)

Johanna-Kara (Di-gata Defenders)

Tobias Ragg-Hewk (OC)

Beadle Bamford-Tartarus (Halo 2)

Anthony- Rion (Di-gata Defenders)

Beggar Women-?

Turpin- Frollo (The Hunchback)

Pirelli- Phoebus (The Hunchback)

Mr. Fogg-Scarecrow (Batman)


	2. The Ballad of Sweeney Zuko

The Ballad of Sweeney Zuko

A boy of twelve with messy brown hair in a red uniform in a straight jacket sat in a chair in his cell. He was in an asylum that was under new ownership. But he remembered the former owner as well as many other people. He began to sing a song of insanity, greed, evil, love and revenge.

**Attend the Tale of Sweeney Zuko,**

**His skin was pale and his eye was odd.**

**He shaved the faces of gentlemen,**

**who never thereafter were heard of again.**

**He trod a path that few have trod,**

**did Sweeney Zuko,**

**the demon barber of Yin Street!**

**He kept a shop in Ba Sing Se town,**

**Of fancy clients an good renown.**

**An what if none of their souls were saved, **

**they went to their maker impecably shaved!**

**By Sweeney, by Sweeney Zuko, the demon barber of Yin Street!**

The boy stood up in his chair and looked out his window to see a coffin being carried down the street.

**Swing you razor wide Sweeney! **

**Hold it to the skies!**

**Freely flows the blood of those who moralize!**

**His needs were few his room was bare,**

**A lavabo and a fancy chair.**

**A mug of suds, and a leather strop**

**An apron, a towel, a pail and a mop.**

**For neatness her deserves a nod,**

**Does Sweeney Zuko,  
the demon barber of Yin street.**

**Inconspicous Sweeney was,**

**Quick, and quiet and clean he was.**

**Back of his smile, under his word,**

**Sweeney heard music that nobody heard,**

**Sweeney pondered and Sweeney planned,**

**Like a perfectly machine he planned,**

**Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,**

**Sweeney would blink, and rats would scuttle,**

**Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,**

**Sweeney would blink, and rats would scuttle,**

**Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,**

**Sweeney would blink, and rats would scuttle,**

**Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,**

**Sweeney would blink, and rats would scuttle**

**Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney!**

**Attend the Tale of Sweeney Zuko!**

**Attend the Tale of Sweeney Zuko!**

**He served a dark and avengeful God!**

**What happened then well that's the tale,**

**And he wouldn't want me to give it away...**

**Not Sweeney **

**Not Sweeney Zuko**

**The demon barber of Yin...**

**Street...**

A guard came into the room and took the boy away. The boy then began to fear for the worst.


	3. No Place Like Ba Sing Se

**No Place Like Ba Sing Se**

Months ago is when this story had started. It was on a ship. A young man who was seventeen with white hair and dressed in white clothing with a brown cape looked out towards Ba Sing Se as the doors of a gigantic gate opened letting the ship in. The boy was named Rion he looked happily as the gate opened. He began to give a speech to a man who was next to him. The man had a long top black top knot, gold eyes, pale skin and a scar on the left side of his face. He wore fugitive armour that was red and black. He was fifty-eight. His name was Zuko.

**Rion: I have sailed the world**

**beheld its wonders**

**from the ****dardinells,**

**to the mountains of Rados,**

**But there's no place liked Ba Sing Se!**

**I feel home again...**

**I could hear the city gongs ring...**

**Whatever would I do?**

**No there's...**

**Zuko: No place like Ba Sing Se...**

Rion turned to look at Zuko. Why had Zuko finished his speech?

"Mr Zuko sir?", asked Rion.

**Zuko: You are young...**

**Life has been kind to you...**

**You will learn.**

"Tis here we go our separate ways. Farewell Rion. ", said Zuko . "I will not soon forget the good ship bountiful, nor the young who saved my life."

Zuko walked off the ship and on to the dock with Rion close behind him.

"There's no cause to thank me for that, sir.", replied Rion. "It would have been a poor man indeed who would have spotted you pinching and tossing on that raft and not given the alarm."

Zuko turned around and looked Rion straight in the eye.

"There's many a man would've done just that and not lost a winks sleep over it either.", stated Zuko.

Zuko walked off of the dock and then stopped for a minute as he saw a insane woman that was hunched over with black hair and pale skin dressed in red walking towards him.


	4. A Barber And His Wife

**A Barber And His Wife**

The forty four year old woman walked towards Zuko and then just passed right by him towards Rion. She was still hunched over. She then started to beg by singing.

**Alms, alms for a miserable woman, on a miserable chilly mornin!**

Rion gave the beggar woman some money.

**Thank ya sir, thank ya...**

The woman then jabbed at Rion and Rion walked closer towards Zuko.

**How would ya like a little muff,**

**dear a little jig-jig,**

**a little bounce around the bush!**

**Wouldn't ya like to push me parsley?**

**It looks to me, dear like you've got plenty there to push!**

The woman then walked towards Zuko glaring at him. She then continued he song of begging.

**Alms, alms for a pitiful woman...**

**What's got wandering wits?**

**Hey! Don't I know you, mister?**

Zuko just looked at the woman angrily.

"Must you glare at me, woman?", asked Zuko. "Off with you! Off I say!"

The woman only continued her song.

**Then how would ya like to split me muff?**

**Mister, we'll go jig-jig!**

**A little...**

"Off I said!", said Zuko. "To the ethos with you!"

Fire daggers came from Zuko's hand and he held them up to the woman's face. The woman ran off screaming and walked into an alley and continued her song once again.

**Alms, alms for a pitiful woman!**

Rion stared at Zuko.

"Pardon me, sir, but there's no need to fear the likes of her, she's only a half crazed beggar woman... Ba Sing Se's full of them."", stated Rion.

Zuko turned to the sailor.

"I beg your indulgence, boy, my mind is far from easy.", begged Zuko. "For in these once familiar streets I feel a chill of ghostly shadows everywhere. Forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive.", said Rion.

Zuko looked at Rion.

"Farewell, Rion.", said Zuko.

Zuko started to walked away until Rion raised his hand.

"Mr. Zuko, before we part...", started Rion.

"What is it?", asked Zuko.

Rion gulped and then replied.

"I have honoured my promise never to question you.", replied Rion. "Whatever brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair and yet, over many weeks of our voyage home, I've come to think of you as a friend, and if trouble lies ahead for you in Ba Sing Se, if you need any help... or money."

"No!", replied Zuko immediately.

**There's a hole in the world like a great black pit**

**And the vermin of the world inhabit it**

**And it's morals aren't worse what a komodo rhino can spit**

**And it goes by the name of Ba Sing Se.**

**At the top of the world sits the previlaged few**

**Macking mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo**

**Turning beauty into filth and greed...**

**I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,**

**For the cruelty of men is as wonderous as Rados**

**But there's no place like Ba Sing Se.**

**There was a barber and his wife**

**and she was beautiful...**

**a foolish barber and his wife.**

Zuko remembered fifteen years ago. A vision of a flower market. Zuko wore a red coat and next to him was his wife, Mai. She had ribbons in her hair. In Mai's arms was their baby girl, Kara.

**  
She was his reason for his life...**

**and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous.**

**And he was naive.**

Zuko gave Mai a flower. Mai smiled and kissed Zuko on the cheek.

**There was another man who saw**

**that she was beautiful...**

**A pious vulture of the law**

**who, with a gesture of his claw**

**removed the barber from his plate!**

A man in black with a grey hair wearing a judge hat. His name was Frollo. He saw Mai and looked on lovingly and then Chieftain Tartarus came up next to Frollo

**And there was nothing but to wait!**

Frollo gave a signal to Tartarus and the brute gathered some Dai Li and arrested Zuko.

**And she would fall!**

Mai gasped and watched as her husband was dragged away.

**So soft!**

**So young!**

**So lost and oh so beautiful!**

Rion blinked after Zuko's story was over.

"And the lady sir, did she succumb?", asked Rion.

**Oh that was many years ago...**

**I doubt if anyone would know.**

"Now leave me, Rion.", ordered Zuko. "There is somewhere I must go, something I must find out. Now, and alone."

"But surely we will meet again before I'm off to Dakor?", asked Rion.

"If you want you may find me around Yin street. I wouldn't wonder.", replied Zuko.

"Until then my friend.", said Rion offering his hand for Zuko to shake.

Zuko shook the hand. Zuko walked towards Yin street.

**There's a hole in the like a great black pit**

**And it's filled with people who are filled with shit!**

**And the vermin of the world inhabit it!**


	5. The Worst Pies In Ba Sing Se

**The Worst Pies In Ba Sing Se**

Zuko walked down Yin Street. In the past fifteen years it had never seemed so bleak and dark. He walked towards a shop.

"Mrs. Raven's Meat Pie shop"

He then looked at the room above the shop. He walked in it and he saw a counter in the middle of the room near a door. There was another room full of tables in it. Just then a grey skinned woman who was about fifty-two years old with a black dress and a black cloak carrying a bunch of ingredients. This was no doubt Mrs. Raven. Zuko tapped Raven on the shoulder to let her know that there was someone is the shop. Raven looked at Zuko.

"A customer!", gasped Raven in surprise and happiness.

Zuko turned around but was stopped by Raven.

**Wait! What's your rush?  
What's your hurry?  
You gave me such a...  
fright! I thought you was a ghost!  
Half a minute, can't ya sit?  
Sit ya down!  
Sit!  
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks.  
Did ya come here for a pie, sir?  
Do forgive me if my head's a little vague.  
Ugh!  
What is that?  
But you'd think we had the plague.  
From the way that people  
keep avoiding!  
No you don't!  
Heaven knows I try, sir!  
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!  
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?  
Mind you I can hardly blame them!  
These are probably the worst pies in Ba Sing Se.  
I know why nobody cares to take them!  
I should know!  
I make them!  
But good? No...  
The worst pies in Ba Sing Se...  
Even that's polite! The worst pies in Ba Sing Se!  
If you doubt it take a bite!**

Raven handed Zuko a rather disgusting looking meat pie. Zuko took a bite and then put his hand over his mouth.

**Is that just, disgusting?  
You have to concede it!  
It's nothing but crusting!  
Here drink this, you'll need it.  
The worst pies in Ba Sing Se  
And no wonder with the price of meat  
what it is  
when you get it.  
Never thought I'd live to see the day.  
Men'd think it was a treat  
findin' poor  
animals  
what are dyin' in the street.  
Madam Lizel has a pie shop.  
Does a business, but I notice something weird.  
Lately, all her neighbors cats have disappeared.  
Have to hand it to her!  
What I calls,  
enterprise!  
Poppin' pussies into pies!  
Wouldn't do in my shop!  
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!  
And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick.  
No denying times is hard, sir!  
Even harder than the worst pies in Ba Sing Se.  
Only lard and nothing more-  
Is that just revolting?  
All greasy and gritty?  
It looks like it's molting!  
And tastes like...we'll pity.  
A woman alone...with limited wind  
And the worst pies in Ba Sing Se!  
Ah, sir  
Times is hard.  
Times is hard**.


End file.
